By Sister Jean Greenwald

We humans have the gift of experiencing both the ups and downs of emotions and feelings. No matter the ease of euphoria or the difficulty of pain, we can go back to how something felt to remember the experience. On a train from my first visit to the port city of Civitivecchia, Italy, back to the Generalate in Rome, I decided not to get off at Stazione Roma Aurelia.

A small crowd of people were milling around in the Square when we arrived around 6:15 p.m. I likened their movement, along with ours, to the scripture passage, “They were like sheep without a shepherd.” We were!

“Papa Francesco,” just died early that morning, Easter Monday. Being in the space where Pope Frances walked, rode, spoke, visited, challenged and blessed was a bit of comfort to our feelings of sorrow for ourselves, and joy for him. His last acts of kindness and thoughtfulness in the public arena were a blessing upon all peoples and a final ride to be closer to the people he dearly loved. Even though he might have been in pain, for the look on his face seemed to say so, I would guess that his spirit was jumping for joy as he saw the faces of the people in the crowd.

Throughout the preparations for the wake, funeral and burial of Pope Francis, the plans for the Conclave began. Who will be prophet for us? Who will continue efforts to be synodal people, church, world? Who will call us to be examples of compassion and care for the forgotten and deprived, the victims of consumption, war and greed and the imprisoned? Who will continue leading us in the care of our common home and call us to live well the solidarity with all life?

All along the funeral motorcade route, people clapped, cheered, threw flowers and called out, “Grazie Papa Francesco!” Again, scripture came to mind, “[you] have run the race, fought the good fight…well done, good and faithful servant.” Contemplating a closure of physical life here on Earth, while hoping for continued presence in spirit, I sensed my need to loosen my grip of the sorrow I was holding so I could make room for the unforeseen surprise and joy that was to come. In my estimation, Hollywood could do no better.

Tension arose inside of me in the form of questions and desires when the Conclave began. Who will the Cardinals choose? Why are women still banned from ordination and roles of leadership that include them in shaping the future of the Church, such as a Conclave? “I want to be in the Square when the smoke billows out of the chimney. When will this happen? What will the newly elected pope carry forward from the legacy of Pope Francis? How will I travel to St. Peter’s? What if the white smoke billows out and I am still at home or on an errand? Will I make it to the Square for the announcement?”

Day 1: May 7, 2025

Sister Claudia Pereira and I arrived at St. Peter’s Square on the first evening of the Conclave to view results of balloting by the Cardinals that day. Although we doubted there would be white smoke on the first day, we did not want to miss the experience if this time was going to be an exception. We met some of the Filippino priests who celebrate liturgy with us at the house. I asked if they were excited about the possibility of one of their own, Cardinal Tagle, being chosen; for he was often mentioned as a papabili in the media world. “We will trust in the Holy Spirit. If God wills it,” were their responses.

After waiting in a good-sized crowd for over two hours, black smoke billowed out of the chimney. I was taken by surprise in the lack of sighs or other sounds, by the crowd that gathered. It was almost an unspoken prediction, “They will not get enough votes on a first or second ballot that led in the lack of an audible response from the crowd.”

Day 2: May 8, 2025

I turned on the TV late morning to the channel that has live viewing of St. Peter’s Square. Periodically, sisters took a glance to see what was happening. By 1:30 p.m., my tension rose higher. Do I go to St. Peter’s soon? There has not been a signal yet. It ought to be coming soon. What if it is white and I am here! Soon afterwards, black smoke billowed from the chimney. We began to speculate how many voting sessions the Cardinals would take and if tonight would be the night.

Sister Claudia and I set out for St. Peter’s by bus and arrived around 5:30 p.m. As soon as we arrived, I called home to tell others, “Now! If you are coming to the Square, leave now. The crowd is growing exponentially.”

The camera projecting images onto the giant screens located in the Square, generally focused on the chimneystack over the Sistine Chapel. A few minutes after seeing an image of two adult seagulls with their chick milling around the stack, white smoke billowed into the air at 6:09 p.m. The crowd went wild with delight, cheering and clapping. One could never capture the energy felt in that crowd! I marveled how new life (the chick) appeared just before more new life (election of a pope). In a matter of minutes, the bells pealed with joy! At this, the crowd roared even louder, with hope and wonder.

At 7:14 p.m., Cardinal Mamberti, the Protodeacon, appeared on the main balcony of the basilica to announce, “Habemus Papam!” Again, the crowd roared with cheers and quickly became silent in order to hear the name, spoken in Latin. First, there was a “polite” cheer, perhaps because of not understanding, and then another roar when we heard the chosen name, Pope Leo (Papa Leone) XIV.

One could hear such things as, “Who? From Boston? What did he say? Really? Someone from the U.S.? It’s the first time an American is elected.”

I said aloud, “We have an American pope? Impossible! Where is he from in the U.S.?” Someone near me said he was from Chicago.

I remembered reading about Cardinal Robert Prevost as a possible successor to Pope Francis when he was in Gemelli Hospital. At the time, I gave no great enthusiasm to read about this for I was sad about Francis’ illness. However, it did not take long to find out about the life of Pope Leo. In time, I realized I had a perfecta when I heard he was not only from the U.S., but also from Chicago, just as I am. Later, I read that he went to St. Mary of the Assumption elementary school. Bingo! Now it was a trifecta for me. I had three things in common. My first mission after my novitiate was teaching at St. Mary of the Assumption School. I have been amazed at how people are finding real connections to a pope!

June 12:

We are now over a month into the papacy of Pope Leo. From what I have seen, read and heard I am hopeful that he will continue in the way of Pope Francis and continue to be himself, a man of integrity and dignity for all people, all life! I believe he will be prophet. He will practice synodality. He will call us to compassion, justice, peace and love for our common home, Mother Earth. I pray for courage to not just look-into ordaining women, but practicing it. Women have gifts that call for ordination, and when they desire to obey that call from God they are denied. Perhaps God wonders why we do not hear the answer to the prayers for priestly vocations!

God bless you, Pope Leo XIV.