Words of guidance from Sister Madeleine Lane

This month, on October 10, the World Health Organization (WHO) recognizes World Mental Health Day. According to the WHO, this day is set aside “to raise awareness of mental health issues around the world and to mobilize efforts in support of mental health. The Day provides an opportunity for all stakeholders working on mental health issues to talk about their work, and what more needs to be done to make mental health care a reality for people worldwide.”

Being aware of good mental health this month is an invitation to practice compassion for oneself on this journey of life, and with more than 45 years of educational, pastoral and counseling experience, Sister Madeleine Lane has been a source of comfort, guidance and compassionate understanding for many, especially in times of grief and loss. While many of us may wish to avoid, or at least lessen time spent in grief, Sister Madeleine finds purpose in walking with others through their grief toward greater mental health, and special inspiration in the words and writings on the topic.

“My grief says that I dared to love and that I allowed another to enter the very core of my being and find a home in my heart,” she reads. “It’s from one my favorite books on death, ‘The Wild Edge of Sorrow.’”

Sister Madeleine’s path to her current ministry led through several experiences. She recalls her time with Our Lady of Angels Franciscan Seminary at Quincy College in Quincy, Illinois, her years as a director of vocations for School Sisters of Notre Dame (SSND) and serving in spiritual direction and counseling in several locations in St. Louis.

“In 1989, I went and received my advanced degree in marriage and family therapy. What I wanted to do with that degree was to understand more about the connection between spirituality and our family story which impacts our entire life.”

Upon earning her marriage and family therapy degree, she accepted positions with several different agencies in the St. Louis area, but found herself at times frustrated with the limitations of managed care. She witnessed people who had undergone significant loss and were expected to process that loss, heal and move on with just a couple of sessions.

“I said I am going to start a place where people can come and pay what they can afford and come for as long as they want,” said Sister Madeleine.

That place was The Family Center, located in Webster Groves, Missouri, a suburb of St. Louis. Her idea worked and it worked well.

“It was great,” she recalled. “We had wonderful boards, and no one was ever turned away. It was a place where we had spiritual directors and therapists, and we did home visits for people. It was a center without any walls and filled with compassion and genuine care.”

Alongside this work, Sister Madeleine also maintained a ministry of serving other religious women. She helps to navigate them through the grief, transitions and losses which are unique to religious life. For example, she has helped support multiple congregations as they moved from their long-held homes and communities to new, unfamiliar spaces.

This ministry was supported with her work teaching graduate school and spirituality at Creighton University and at Aquinas School of Theology.

“I’ve worked with several communities in the last 25 years,” said Sister Madeleine. “Mainly in facilitation and retreats, transition and grief and loss by being present to help them on their journey. And most of all to honor the gift each sister brings to the community.”

“There are three things that I’ve always done. The heart of my ministry has been a trinity for me of spirituality, family therapy and grief ministry. Grief is my passion, to help lessen the fear of death. I tell everyone it’s a gift of grief to believe that you are only going to pure love because you have been pure love.”

“Grief is akin to praise and how a soul recounts the depth to which someone has touched our lives. To love is to accept the rights of grief,” Sister Madeleine quoted. “I love that invitation from Francis Weeler. How we live this journey in our lives is how we embrace our death. It is truly a journey of love to greater love, invited to the oneness of all and love.”

The Family Center now operates as a private practice, having been invited to share office space with Might Oakes Heart Foundation, Webster Groves, Missouri, a nonprofit organization which supports families of children born with congenital heart defects.

“Our logo is a heart, and their logo is a heart,” said Sister Madeleine. She finds it a bit of a full circle moment.

In addition, she travels giving retreats, facilitating grief and loss workshops, visiting sisters in retirement communities and accompanying others with loss and grief.

“I love visiting older sisters,” she says. “Mainly to thank them and tell them how wonderful they are!”

“As a therapist, as a mental health provider, as a spiritual director, it’s about trying to help people find that deep inner peace. To find the divine within them, to find their own personal goodness and to live a life of deep love, compassion and forgiveness on this journey.”